A few thoughts on the normal part of pregnancy

My mom said God gives us the last month of pregnancy so we will do ANYTHING to get this baby out.

heh heh. yeah.

A couple of thoughts as I reach the 'home stretch.' 

~stretch.... as in marks. Um, gross. Who let the crazy clawing cat with the purple nail polish into my pajamas?

~well hello, toilet. We meet again. It's been what, six minutes? Bladders do make such fine pillows.

~leaky ladies. They are like that rain storm on Bambi. Starts out with a few drips, but one day I know, with a chorus and clash of thunder, all the happy little April showers will turn into a soak-fest.

~No. More. Room. As in... none. It's weird feeling my stomach growl in my chest instead of in, well, my stomach.

~Oh, there you are, toes! 

~After sleeping thirty minutes: okay, ow. Time to flip to the other side. 

~After flipping, but doing it wrong: okay, OW!!! That stretching ligament suddenly turned into acute appendicitis. since I no longer have an appendix, I can compare the two.

~I miss sleeping on my back. That was the most comfortable for me before baby became organ-crusher.

~I used to be a dancer. I used to look cool when I danced. Now if a very groovable song comes on the radio (like early Britney Spears or, I admit it, Poker Face by Lady Gaga) I just look like a wobbling watermelon.

~Stop it, uterus! Braxton Hicks contractions, so not cool.

~Worrying about Braxton Hicks contractions because what if it's the real thing? My hospital is thirty minutes away... what if we get there and they say with a smile "false alarm! you can go home now, sweetheart!" Ugh.

~bed rest. Nuff said.

~Course, my nail polish has never lasted this long before. Awesome.

~Ever notice how as we get uglier, husbands get handsomer? No fair.

~Anyone feel like going to redbox for me? I haven't seen Shrek Ever After, Sorcerer's Apprentice, Robin Hood, Charlie St. Cloud, Killers, or Inception yet. Some of these movies I only care to see out of curiosity, such as Robin Hood and Charlie St. Cloud.

I think I've gone on long enough. Plus, this chair is starting to get uncomfortable. It's my fabulous new glider, so it's supposed to be comfortable, but with all this extra poundage, I don't think comfortable is in my vocabulary anymore.

Thanks for all your love, prayers, and encouragement!!! Hopefully this post will leave you with a smile on your face. I thought it was time for something silly.