~I died my hair black. So Angelina Jolie.
~The New York Times called and my book Fathom just hit the best-seller list.
~The Man went and bought me a new Aston Martin. Pearl finish.
~I'm going to be on Oprah this afternoon to discuss my recent success in the film industry.
~Disneyland sold me some real estate on Main Street, USA. Yeah, it overlooks the Carnation Cafe.
~That invitation to Will & Kate's wedding FINALLY arrived.
~I entered a blog giveaway and won ten million dollars.
~John Krasinski asked me out. Again. I had to remind him I was very happily married.
... along with the other big loads of crap we're going to be dished out today!
Happy April Fool's Day. Celebrate irresponsibly.