Six Months

Dear Ladybug,

That's what I called you. Ladybug. Ever since the beginning, even before I knew you were a girl. "If it's a girl, I'm calling her Ladybug whenever I talk about her online." We didn't officially settle on your name until the day you were born. We couldn't agree on your middle name. We didn't have time to decide. So you don't have one. I'm sorry about that.

I know it's pointless to tell you I'm sorry. I know you're in a place so much more beautiful than this awful world. I know you're happy, safe, free, and with people who love you. But I have to say it anyway. I'm sorry for your broken heart. I'm sorry we couldn't hold you longer. I'm sorry you weren't as healthy and ready for this world as all the other babies I see, especially those who would have been your bestest friends. And believe me, Ladybug, there's a lot of them.

You would have been six months old today. There have been some changes. The weather got hot and we got a new place. I can't begin to tell you how much I wish you were here, kicking and smiling and even fussing. I wish Daddy could come home to both of us. He misses you too. You are absolutely the light of his life. Forever his girl.

I miss you so much. I think often about the little time I got to hold you, to stroke your hair, to grasp your hand between my fingers and kiss your head. I think a lot about how unfair it is that we didn't get very much time with you. You were so energetic inside me, kicking and punching and moving around like any normal baby would.

You've done a lot of good, you know. There are many people whose lives you have touched. Even people around the world. Your Great-Aunt Linda even said there were people in her mission in Wales that were inspired by you and your story. Everyone in your family, your cousins, aunts, uncles, Grandpas, and Grandma and Granny, all of Mommy and Daddy's extended family and friends, even total strangers have prayed for you and look up to you. It's my hope that everyone who knew you will remember you and want to be just a little bit better.

I love you so much. Eternity has so much more meaning for me now. The covenants we made in the temple are among my most cherished possessions. I cling to forever with all my heart and look to the day when I can pick you up just as I laid you down.

I love you, my Ladybug. My perfect girl. My angel.

Always.

Mom

I tried, really I did

AAARRGGHH!!!

No, that's not a pirate noise.
It's an aggravation noise.


I made a video of the apartment, as promised, and I tried to upload it and it wouldn't work. Either I take the video on my phone, or on our new camera which has video capabilities that I don't think blogger will work with. *another growl of frustration*

So I guess I hafta do pictures.

The family room. We just got the rug. Hasn't been set up yet.

Bedroom. The mirror will be put over the dresser (not pictured). Someday.

Kitchen. Complete with full sink of dishes.

 Sparse dining room. 'Cept for the teeny tiny table and oodles of boxes still to be put away and pictures to hang.

Closet. Exciting.

Master Bathroom.

Guest Bathroom

And . . . so cool . . . I have a sewing closet! It's awesome because when I'm done with a project, or need to take a break in the middle of one, I can close the closet and forget about it and no one has to know how disorganized I am.

So there you have it.
Like I promised.
Sorry it's not a video.
Technology. Hmph.

**Don't forget to enter the giveaway! Winner will be chosen this Friday. Don't make me beg.

Something better

I did promise pictures. . . 

But pictures of our new apartment are going to be put on hold. 

Instead, how about pictures of something better? 

How about a nice, juicy

GIVEAWAY!!

a few examples of what's in store.

To promote my new story blog, Chapterhouse Lane, I'm having this little giveaway in hopes of bribing you all into spreading word, following, and hopefully reading the stories on the blog.

The theme of this giveaway is "Writing, Hero London Style."

Here are the goods:

A hard-bound journal with a magnetic closure and a lovely new pen. 

because you never know when inspiration will strike.

A gift card worth $25.00 to itunes.

I used to always listen to music while I wrote. Sometimes I still do. Especially when I need to set a certain mood.

A bag of gummy "bookworms" or another treat of your choice.

I LOVE to snack while I write. It's a terrible habit that has bitten me in the rear. Literally.

Your name in a Chapterhouse Lane story.

I sometimes use real people as inspiration for my characters. Your character can reflect your appearance and personality if you like. Who doesn't like to see their name in print?

How to enter:

Leave a comment on THIS blog (not on Chapterhouse Lane) for each entry. Please be honest! I can verify it, you know.

1. Follow Chapterhouse Lane on blogger

2. "Like" Chapterhouse Lane on Facebook

3. Do a wall post on Facebook extolling the greatness of Chapterhouse Lane. Unless of course you despise the stories. Then this giveaway is probably not for you.

4. Post about Chapterhouse Lane on your blog
5. Post the Chapterhouse Lane button on your blog

Winner will be chosen on Friday, July 1st, so hurry and enter!

Thanks for helping me spread the word, everyone. This really means a lot to me.

Not having internet really bites.

That's the thing about living in someone else's house.
You tend to take certain things for granted.

Like light bulbs.
And TiVo.
And the internet.

Now that we're in our own place, we have to go to the clubhouse, or as I have just decided to call it, the "Common Room" to use the internet. The internet doesn't always work in here and there are no Gryffindor pennants. Frustrating.
On that note, for those of you that are local, there is an ENORMOUS Harry Potter party going on in Mesa on Saturday, July 9th at 5:00 pm. Drop me a comment if you want details, I'll get back to you.


Sorry again that there are no pictures. I promise I will post some on Friday. Maybe even a video! Bet you can hardly contain your excitement.

Until next time...

We're in!

After a long, hot (it was 104 today), exhausting day of moving things that are WAY too heavy, using muscles I didn't know I had . . . .

We're are officially living in our brand new apartment!
Loving the new carpet/resurfaced countertop smell. bleh

For Chapterhouse Lane fans, forgive me, the post is going up shortly. As aforementioned-- it has been a busy day.

If you don't know what Chapterhouse Lane is, click on the Chapterhouse Lane button to the right of your screen.

For non-Chapterhouse Lane fans-- I hope you will soon change your ways and come to the light. The view is spectacular.

Quick and terrible story about our adventures today:
Our stuff has been sitting in a garage for the last year and a half, since we were living in my aunt and uncle's fully furnished home.
As we're unpacking kitchen stuff, my mom hands me my great big stew-pot, and crawling around inside is an alive and well
scorpion!
As in, the grand-pappy of all nasty arachnids. DIS.GUST.ING!!! I live in Arizona, I know we have scorpions. But that did not stop me from screaming like a little girl and dropping the pot on the just-newly finished surface of the countertop, upon which we weren't supposed to put anything until tomorrow morning.

There are scuffs in the finish. Just small ones.
And a dead scorpion somewhere far away from my apartment. Courtesy of my much braver, much bigger younger brother. (Bret was gone hauling furniture).

Shhhhuuuuuddddeeeerrr. I hope there aren't any more. Scorpions, that is.

So, I've got a story blog to update and a butt-load of boxes to unpack, so I gotta run.
Pictures to follow.

As of 6/13/11

I have run 100 miles.

I did it!

Holy crap.

And, unless this scale is WAY off....

I'm back to pre-pregnancy weight!!

I think I'll celebrate by going to Charming Charlies or buying a new pair of skinny jeans.

*I'm not at my ideal weight yet* but I'm going to do some Kenpo X in a few. Let's get this party started.

Blog Challenge Day Seven

So not motivated to blog. 

We went and got Ella's gravestone marker picked out today. It's going to be beautiful. Pictures will follow as soon as it's done.

As always, the people at Falconer Funeral home were magnificent.

They have always done so well at helping to make difficult things go smoothly. 

I can't say enough wonderful things about them.

But anyway.

Blog Challenge Question #7: What was your last dream about?

Uh. I can't remember last night.

I know I dreamed about monsters the other day. Drippy ones.

And I recently had a dream about finding these way cute white high-heels at the grocery store. 

My hilarious friend Meg dreamed about flying Harry Potter style, which is my personal favorite thing to dream about. 

Dreams are great. What was your last one about?

Today is the day

If you're thoroughly sick of hearing me talk about my new story blog, I have to teach you a concept I once learned about at a writer's conference.

It's called Blatant Self-Promotion.

As in, shameless.

So, Chapterhouse Lane begins today with The Streets of Elangard. I would love it if you would check it out and tell your friends to check it out and tell your friends' friends' friends and their moms to check it out too.

Blatant Self-Promotion.

I like being creative beyond the literary construction of a novel. I make book cover designs, poster designs, movie previews (using other movies of course), I pick out actors who I think look like my characters, and my friend even makes me soundtracks.

I made this a couple years ago. It's a poster for The Streets of Elangard. No, that's not me (I've been asked that before)

I love fun.

Chapterhouse Lane. Give it a try? I'll be your best friend.

You guys are the best

Thanks for letting me unload, you guys.

You listened, you encouraged, you gave me some love, and you did it so gracefully that I came up with the conclusion:

I have the BEST bloggy friends ever!!

New friends, old friends, followers, stop-by-for-a-peek-ers, all of you just rock.

Thank you so much.

I try to come by your places and be a good commenter {my sister says I'm the best. :)}  But sometimes I get busy. Specially now cuz we're kinda in limbo between homes.

Bottom line, I love you all and I am just tickled fuschia that you read me!

Tired

Packing is exhausting.

But that's not what I'm tired of.

Today I have to rant.
Just a little. I haven't done a ranty post in a while.
So I hope you'll forgive me.

This is why I'm tired:

I'm tired of people who don't deserve to be parents, yet they are.

And even though I have nothing but love for my mommy friends, it's very hard to see their complaints about their babies. How they cry, cost lots of money, poop, cry some more, or don't sleep.

Do they know I'd give anything to hear my baby cry? To have a sleepless night because she kept me up with her colic instead of her absence? To pay a hospital bill that saved her life instead of a funeral bill to have her buried?
Even to change a million diapers??

And for those who don't deserve their children . . .
I'd love to take them by the hand to the place where my child lies. Before I shove them into a vile pit of pig feces. Or shark infested waters. See Blog Challenge Day #11

But I can't. So I won't. And my Ladybug wouldn't want me to behave like that anyway.

Sorry for the anger.
It's not nice.

Sometimes it's just hard.

Break from the blog challenge

Is anyone else getting sick of this blog challenge? *raising hand*

I wanna blog what I wanna blog. Not that the blog challenge is a bad idea, there's just other stuff going on that I would rather brag tell you about. Maybe I'll do normal posts and then tack on a blog challenge question at the end, unless it's a really cool one, then I'll devote an entire post to it.

Sounds good to me.
All in favor? Aye!
All against? . . .

Good, glad that's settled.

So guess what?
Me and the Man are moving out. The packing has started. The shifting of furniture has commenced. The list-making of stuff we can't leave behind has begun.
For those of you who don't know, Bret and I live at my aunt and uncle's house while they're serving a mission for our church in Carmarthen, Wales. (My kinda place). My grandpa also lives here, so we take care of him and the house while Auntie and Uncle are gone.

Welp, Auntie and Uncle are coming home in 3 days. Yes, my friends. 3 more days. We can't get into our new apartment until the 17th, so we're staying at other family member's houses until then.

It's been a year and a half of living here. Probably the hardest year and a half of my life, I need to admit. We've had some wonderful blessings and terrible trials. I am grateful to have had this time with Grandpa to get to know him better as he is nearing the final years of his life. (He's 92 and remarkably well for a guy his age).

But I am ready to move on.

Blog Challenge Day Six

A celebrity crush and why.

K, just so we're clear, I am MADLY in love with my husband, people. 
The only reason I have celebrity crushes is because I know they are silly and unreachable . . . that's the way I like them.

 I don't necessarily have crushes on celebrities, just the characters they play. Makes it all the better, since the guy doesn't actually exist.
Which is probably why he's so perfect.

So, ahem. Celebrity crush #1 yes I have more than one

Jim Halpert from the Office.

source

He's just too cute.
Oh come on, you know you only watched the show to see if Jim and Pam would actually end up together and  wanted to throw something at Pam when she (at first) said no to him.
Now they're married with a baby. Makes this guy all the more attractive.

And #2:

Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell

source

SO corny, I know. But I can't help it. I've had a soft-spot for this blonde troublemaker ever since I was ten years old. Mark-Paul Gosselar has a new show starting which I sorta wanted to watch, but the show looks pretty vile so I think I'll pass. Plus, he's not Zack Morris.

So there you have it. My celebrity crushes. They're cute and charming . . .


But they got nothin' on this guy.

I love you, baby!

Blog Challenge Day Five

A place you'd like to travel to.

I love travelling. There are a lot of places I'd like to visit: Hawaii, France, Washington DC, Boston, Greece and I'd love to visit England again.

But here's a big one on my list: Umbria, Italy

Oooh, lovely. I saw it on an episode of House Hunters International.

Blog Challenge Day Four

A habit you wish you didn't have.

One word, people:

CHOCOLATE

On another note: "Fathom" got the most votes for my new story blog (see THIS post). However, I sent it to an agent a few weeks ago and I need to wait for a reply from them to see whether or not they want it. Chances are, they'll say no. Meh, I'm used to it now. If they say yes, i can't publish it online. If they don't, I can do whatever I want and you lucky people will be able to read it for free!

If you'd rather read something else, put in a vote!