Monday, June 6, 2011

Tired

Packing is exhausting.

But that's not what I'm tired of.

Today I have to rant.
Just a little. I haven't done a ranty post in a while.
So I hope you'll forgive me.

This is why I'm tired:

I'm tired of people who don't deserve to be parents, yet they are.

And even though I have nothing but love for my mommy friends, it's very hard to see their complaints about their babies. How they cry, cost lots of money, poop, cry some more, or don't sleep.

Do they know I'd give anything to hear my baby cry? To have a sleepless night because she kept me up with her colic instead of her absence? To pay a hospital bill that saved her life instead of a funeral bill to have her buried?
Even to change a million diapers??

And for those who don't deserve their children . . .
I'd love to take them by the hand to the place where my child lies. Before I shove them into a vile pit of pig feces. Or shark infested waters. See Blog Challenge Day #11

But I can't. So I won't. And my Ladybug wouldn't want me to behave like that anyway.

Sorry for the anger.
It's not nice.

Sometimes it's just hard.

12 comments:

K & L said...

I love you Amy! I hate ignorant parents too - who don't have any idea the gift that's in front of them.

What I Did Today said...

I'm sorry and rants are cleansing. I'll read about what makes you angry everyday if it helps you feel better. And I hear ya on the undeserving parents.

Regina said...

Your words say what my heart feels so much !

Now that most of my children are older I see my sins of the past and I regret my too oftenly rough behaviour SO much !

It is YOUR very special story (and the gospel I got to know through your and other Mormon blogs) that helps me through days when I feel not so much love for anyone.

Your post is not a rant: You have a great and very important message to tell - love your children, in every every every moment!!!

Dearest greetings
Regina

Heather said...

I felt the same way so many times. Even now I am sensitive to not gripe and complain too much.

Parenting is hard and exhausting and I know that you will have this wonderful experience soon. And we get to look forward to parenting Ella & Camden later, it will be glorious. Love you friend.

Meredith said...

whenever i hear about/catch a second of the show "teen mom" i just bawl and bawl. those kids having babies make me so upset. they don't want their babies and they act so selfishly even after the babies arrive. it makes me so mad!! that's my rant and I'm sticking to it. PS: i hope i never make you feel bad when i post naughty things B does! i reeeally love him, promise! ;)

Chess said...

I'm sorry it's so hard.

Page Traveler Darci said...

I wish there was something I could say... I have no idea where you're coming from, love, except that it angers me as well when I see parents who don't care for their children.

I have a friend who would love to be a mom, but is afraid to even try to get pregnant because she suffers from severe depression. She's afraid she'll be one of those mom's that just snaps in a moment and does something terrible, and she doesn't want to be that mom.

Hers is yet another story that I can't comprehend. I admire you both for your strength and sacrifices. I know you can feel the joy of holding your children in your arms someday. And I hope I haven't been a cause of this frustration either :-/

Rant away, doll face. You have every right to.

tuesdays at nordic said...

And sometimes it is okay to let it out. I can't say I understand what you're going through because I don't. But I can only imagine how hard it must be for you and I am so sorry. *Hugs*

Julie said...

May peace come soon.

Carrie said...

Oh I am one of those ranters! Forgive me, dear. And you are oh so right. And absolutely entitled to scream it from the rooftops if necessary.

Hugs from another mother

xoxoxo

Perla Maria said...

I couldnt agree more. And you have every right to rant this is your blog. The Lord always has a far bigger and better plan than what we can come to understand, keep having faith, and I know that He will bless you and help you with your trials.
I love your words Amy, I think I speak for many people when I say that We love your blog. You inspire us all.
Thank you

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

You call this a rant? You must be the nicest person ever to walk the earth. :D
And I think you deserve to have those feelings.
And in all honesty, I still feel surprised when you comment on my blog, especially since having Claira, knowing how hard it must be to read about. Seriously, I stand in awe and wonder of you.

And... well... you would be a true friend and tell me if I sound whinny or like I'm complaining on my blog, right? Cause I don't want to be. I mean, I want to be real without the annoying complaining.

Okay, I hear by dub you my blog editor. You must inform me if I ever sound whinny.

Does payments in chocolate work for you?