Friday, February 26, 2010

Like an episode of Dirty Jobs

Where's Mike Rowe when you need him???

I apologize for not having pictures to document. Perhaps I'll just have to be extra descriptive.

....once upon a time, I took the garbage out. It was wet, muddy, and dark outside so I put the bag full of garbage beside the side door instead of taking it the further ten steps to put it in the black garbage can. I used to do that kind of thing all the time at our old apartment. Leave the garbage beside the door, it'll be fine. It's not going to go anywhere. I'll stick it in the big, black garbage can later.
Well, I forgot about it.
But like I said: it'll be fine, right?

There are cats in this neighborhood. Scrounging, grasping, rummaging, clawing little beasts who like to rip big holes in garbage bags and dig out whatever tasty little morsels of rotten refried beans, banana peels, and/or other assorted decomposing dregs they can find. Oh the smorgasbord.
And in the aftermath of this great binge of scrumptious scraps, the inedibles were cast aside for the wind to carry to the nethermost parts of the backyard at its leisure. Lots of inedibles.

It wasn't until I was taking another bag out to the trash that I discovered my mistake of forgetting to put the other bag in the trash can. You can imagine this germophobe's horror at seeing the disgusting mess. And there wasn't a single latex glove in sight.

So I thought... what would Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs do? Well, he'd probably make a few jokes, strap on some shoulder-length protective gloves and dig into the mess while giving the camera some good bicep action. ahem. not that I'm paying that close attention.

I didn't make any jokes. The situation was sooo not funny. But I did strap some shoulder-length protective garbage bags over my hands while I picked up the remains of the feline food bender.
I was glad when it was over.

Lesson learned: NEVER leave a garbage bag unattended!!!! Take the measly extra steps to the garbage can, no matter how muddy or barefoot you are!!

Hats off to Mike Rowe. I'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever breath ever, ever be able to do his job.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

a miracle....

So I've got this uberly cute pair of earrings. My baby sister happens to have the exact same pair and had this exact same misfortune occur:

a missing jewel.
I had worn them to go shopping.
I had tried on lots of clothes.
The jewel was gone.
It could have been
Well guess what.
I found it.

by the seat of my pants.
No, really! I found it wedged in that little crack no, not that kind of crack in between the seat and backrest in the Man's car
I thought I had lost it.
And here she be.

Safe and sound.

And reattached

Without a doubt, it has been a miracle. Unsought, unexpected.


Monday, February 22, 2010

A silly boy with a horse and a stick

It's called a lance... helloooo!

More Renaissance Faire.

couldn't think of anything else to blog about.

This dude is Sir Amadeo.
He lost.

Friday, February 19, 2010

On This Day...

I send yet ANOTHER query letter to a Publishing Company.

Thanks Mom, for the info!

And I celebrate one year of being



You know those little words you sometimes have to type in that box for verification when leaving a comment? Sometimes they sound like cool little hobbit names like Fooster or something.
I came across this word a second ago: xytivism.

To me, that sounds like some kind of political activist who makes it his life's work to forever represent, protect, preserve, and otherwise care more about the little xytivies than breath itself.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Reason #58 I am a nerd


Otherwise known as Renaissance Festival.

Way. Fun.

Lots of food and frolic.

Lots of laughter and tears minus the tears.

Lots of overdressed silly people.

I'm the lady in the green dress. The bloke in blue is a random bloke who wanted to take his picture with a couple o' lovely ladies. The other girls are my dear friends from Porter Park ward. A Princess, a Pirate, and other Lady like myself.


Speaking of Pirates...


Saturday, February 13, 2010

He's home!

Grandpa's home from the hospital and everyone's breathing a little easier. Including him.

He has to be on oxygen all the time now, but he's in high spirits and glad to be back in his own place.

We're going to have pie tonight to celebrate. Probably not the best food for a healthy diet, but at 91 years old, he can pretty much eat whatever he wants.

We love you, Grandpa!!! So glad to have you home!

Sorry I don't have any pictures.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

What if?

Have you ever stood on the brink of a cliff
And asked yourself "what if I fall?"
Pointless, really, why don't we just move;
Instead of asking at all?

Each day "what-if's" swarm like midges or flies
While we stand on the edge of that cliff
Even though there is nothing more useless and vain
Than that poisonous question "what if?"

What if the car breaks? What if I get sick?
What if he gets laid off or worse?
What if no one likes me? What if I fail?
Or my shoes do not match my purse?

What if my children get made fun of at school?
What if someone breaks their heart?
What if it rains? What if there's an earthquake?
What if the world falls apart?

"What if" can't feed you, "what if" can't forgive
"What if" can't make you a cake.
"What if" can't comfort, "what if" can't provide
"What if" cannot give or take.

"What if" doesn't change things, "what if" doesn't try
"What if" isn't on time or late,
It doesn't have polka-dots, it doesn't look pretty,
And it can't take you on a date.

So why do we ask ourselves this ridiculous question?
Why do we stand on that cliff?
There never was anything accomplished or won
By wondering, worrying "what if?"

So instead of worrying and wondering "what if"
I'll put on a big, silly grin,
And swat away what-ifs that dare cross my path
And shout at them "HA! I win."

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

the big 3

This silly girl is turning Three today! Happy Golden Birthday to sweet Miss B!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Spasms of Joy

Oh my gosh, ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmyGOSH!!!

guess.... what.....

I just found out my favorite author in the whole wide world, Shannon Hale is writing a sequel to one of my favorite books in the whole wide world, Austenland!!!

GAHHH!!!! Can you stand it?? I can't stand it!!! I'm sooooo excited for this book to come out!! It's to be entitled Midnight in Austenland but it's not going to be about Jane Hayes, the heroine from the first Austenland book. Shannon says (ha. Shannon. Like she's my best buddy or something. Nope, but I would love to meet her someday). it's going to be about a new character who visits Pembrook Park. You can read the full story on her blog here.
Midnight in Austenland won't be released until I die of anticipation. Prolly the year 2011.

I haven't been this excited since I found out they were building a Harry Potter Theme Park.

Shannon, you crazy thing, we love you!!!

Monday, February 1, 2010


It's gonna live forever.

It's gonna learn how to fly.


Remember when they used to make their hair do this on purpose?

Oh well. Better to have too much than not enough.

Special thanks to Heather for the head scratch that felt nice even though it made my hair look like a dead animal.