Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I have to say this now

I was just reading a conference talk by Elder Kevin R. Duncan entitled Our Very Survival.
And suddenly, I felt better.
I was reading about God keeping His promises to His people and how we have to remain faithful to Him in order to receive the blessings of His promises... no matter the hardship.
Here and now, on the public world-wide-web, I have to say

No matter how much this hurts, no matter how badly I miss my baby, and no matter what pain I experience or see in the eyes of my loved ones, I will forever be loyal to my God. I cannot and will not depart from Him. Ever

Because I know that with Him, I can be happy. On His path, I am safe. And I will be as close to my little girl as I possibly can as long as I'm close to Him.
The grief will return. It's kind-of like a house-fly. I can beat it away all I want but it'll always come buzzing right back in my face when I least expect it. 
But for this moment, I feel lighter. And free of the house fly.

I'm thinking of doing a painting of Ella
using the excellent ultrasound picture I have of her.
I'll post it when it's finished.


Patrice said...

I'm right there with you . . . and cannot wait to see the beautiful painting.


Marilyn said...

{{huggs}} ♥♥♥

Nancy Face said...

You don't know me, but I've met your sweet mama once. I only just learned of your great loss this morning, and I want you to know, with all my heart, how very sorry I am.

Lisa said...

Amy, you amaze and inspire me!!! You are in our prayers and we love you!

jen said...

Thinking of and praying for you every day. You are SO STRONG. I love you.

Lindsey said...

I love how you said you will be as close to Ella as you possibly can be as long as you are close to HIM. You're so right.

Callie Proffitt Christiansen said...


If you scroll down the page you'll see a picture of a ladybug locket with red around it. You can actually design your own with silver around the edge.

for the design drop down put in animal and when the second drop down pops up put in ladybug. choose siver finish and silver edge. You can also engrave it for an additional cost. It's pretty and around $30. Hope it helps.

The Clawson's said...

love you Amy!

Shelbi Whittaker said...

Amy you are AMAZING! You truly inspire me!

Raina said...

Amy, I am sorry I have been a terrible friend. It has been a hard road for you. I wish I would have been there. Love you tons! I lost my baby (14 weeks) the same day as your funeral. Your a strong person and I have faith in you. I wish I would have known earlier. ((HUGS))