Monday, February 18, 2019

Day 1: Victory and Sweet, Carbolicious Failure

Did I mention I was going to start my sugar cleanse on the 17th? Well, I decided to give it a go on the 16th. I had a great breakfast and lunch, then went to my cousin's wedding. It was gorgeous. And get this: they had a dessert bar. The cream puffs called to me.

But I RESISTED, baby. I left early, which I regretted, because it looked like everyone had fun at the reception and I don't spend nearly enough time with my cousins. But I had to get away from those treats. (That's not the only reason I left; my husband had a meeting to go to that day too. Still regretted not staying an extra half hour though).

I didn't eat any treats. I call that a major victory. But I still feel like I failed my family a little.

Then later that day, my husband got us dinner from Whataburger. I was SO hungry. You know, all that healthy eating and a 10k run that morning; it gave this girl the munchies. I ate all the things. It was good. It was bad.

Then Sunday came around. My official "first day" of this new regime. I made my family crepes because I want to keep a Sunday tradition of a fun and yummy breakfast while we have a little family time together.

Another victory for me: I did eat two small crepes, but they were paired with some scrambled eggs and turkey. It was SOOOO good and well within my carb range. Lunch wasn't bad: tacos with corn tortillas. Then I hit the chips and salsa. Whoops.

That's not the bad part though. I made brownies for a dinner at my dad's later: the kind with chocolate chip cookie on the bottom and oreos baked in the brownie layer. And of course, I pounded the chocolate chips and licked the brownie batter off the spatula as though it were nectar from the gods.

It got worse.

My sister made white chocolate raspberry scones and holy fudge, those things perfectly hit every little craving neuron in my brain/mouth continuum. I could not stop. Then of course I had to eat a brownie. Or two. Ugh, you guys, I couldn't stop!!

I listened to a very interesting podcast (found here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/balance365-life-radio/id1254305718?mt=2&i=1000425767277) about how sugar is not actually addictive, at least from a neurological standpoint. It was a really good podcast (Thanks, Hannah!!), but I couldn't help disagreeing, at least on some points.

If sugar isn't addictive, why do I still feel so enslaved by it? They presented some great principles in the podcast, some that I plan on incorporating into my habits, but I still have to treat this like an addiction until I can say no to the treats and not hate life. Or maybe give into just one treat and not turn into the monster that ate all the things.

Today is a new day. Trying again.

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